About three years ago, I made a quiet decision: that I was done with love. That may not sound like a big deal, but the thing is that I knew that God had called me to be married. But I was unwilling to go through the process of getting to know anyone or to be very honest, even being friends with anyone anymore. After I had been rejected or seemingly rejected by countless members of the opposite sex, I just made the decision that I didn't wanna bother anymore. As far as I was concerned, it seemed clear to me that men were groomed to be shallow and insensitive. It seemed to me that the only way a man would ever be attracted to me as a person was if I decided to play the game that many women play...i.e. become a barbie doll, someone who pretends to be all that a man supposedly wants; whether it's by wearing my hair a certain way, not being as outspoken as I naturally am, pretending not to be passionate about things that I am passionate about, or changing my body; all for the hopes of being attractive or "suitable" for a man. I'm sure many people can relate to being picked on as a child. For me, all those years of being picked on and being made to feel like I was never good enough in the eyes of society, finally made me EXTREMELY angry; and as far as I was concerned, if that was the price for having love or being in a so called loving romantic relationship with a man, then I was extremely unwilling to do it. Though I did have a very strong desire to experience that kind of love, I had a stronger fear that in order for me to have it meant that I would pretend for all of my life and consequentially give up who I really was. So I gave up on love instead. That I still had the desire in my heart, caused me to wage an all out war on God and His purpose in this particular area of my life. As a matter of fact, the fear I felt was so intense, that at one point, I tried to take my own life. Even after I realized that wasn't an option any longer, I still tried to forfiiet any potential blessing in that area. I was hell bent on ignoring every single man that even looked at me with the slightest bit of interest at all. (not to mention looking at them like they were crazy and being mean and non responsive.) I was determined not to be hurt by the desire for male companionship like I always had been in the past. I was determined not to feel the inevitable rejection that I had always felt. It caused me to get to the point where I very seriously considered walking away from God indefinately. I couldn't understand how God could claim to love me and allow me to have a desire for something that He never planned to give me. I couldn't understand why God would allow me to feel that kind of pain, and then convict me when I did all I could to protect myself by being mean, and non responsinve and repulsive in my attitude toward any man that even smiled at me. And ultimately, I was angry at God not only for not protecting me (I thought) from that, but also for allowing people to misinterpret my paralyzing, blood boiling fear and instead mistake it for chasing after a man or stalking a man or wanting the love of a particualr man so much that I was willing to do anything to get it; and mistaking my anger for scorn. I still struggle with this part of God's purpose for my life; and may even sometimes begin to hit God with a barage of questions like "why do I have this desire anyway" or "what's the point of this" or "why can't I just be single all my life and let that be the end" or "why are men so shallow and why would I want to have anything to do with them" (not to mention the fact that I still find it hard to process the idea of any man that I would ever be remotely attracted to finding me attractive or desireable at all and I tend to look away.) Despite the fact that I'm obviously still growing in that area, the praise report is that God has a done a major work of healing in me. I've even noticed that it's easier for me to respond to a man giving me a compliment or saying hello to me now. I realize through that expereince that this is a silent killer. So many women feel the way I felt and are spiritually dangerous. That may be strong terminology but the fact of the matter is that women that are bitter against men and bitter against love raise girls who don't expect much from men, and therefore don't hold them to a high enough standard. Bitter women also raise boys who grow to be men with questionable character because that's what they learned was a normal part of manhood. Although God has not revealed to me in detail how this disdain for love and all things related to it can be an issue for men, I realize that since men and women are not that different, that there must be some significance in that concept. So let me ask you...whether you're a man or a woman....have you ever given up on love? If so, why?

(you may also email your response to lovehealsallwounds@gmail.com Some will be posted but all will be kept confidential)

Sarah E. Rios

Founder

Welcome to the ministry of Love Heals All Wounds. The purpose of this ministry is to share thoughts and testimonies to uplift people. This ministry is designed to be used as an instrument for healing. There is a major all out attack on love in our world today. It's present in the music on the radio and the shows on television. All types of love are coming under attack. Self love, love for your neighbor, love between friends, love between spouses, and ultimately love for God. Many do not understand that if one doesn't have a proper understanding of God's intense crazy love for us as His creation, it is virtually impossible not only for them to give love, but to receive love. This has negatively affected our lives in devastating ways. Families are breaking up; the divorce rate is alarmingly high (even among people of faith) there's violence and discord in our schools, between parents and children; and between ethnic and racial groups. The goal of this ministry is to use the topic of romantic relationships and friendship as the gateway to have an open discussion about love and its power. It is my prayer that all who visit this website are blessed and ministered to. I pray that God will use this page to minister to every hurt you may have and every need you may possess. Chances are you, like many of us may be having difficulty understanding relationships; or may even be experiencing a great deal of pain because of relationships; whether it is the absence of one,the problems that can arise from being in one. For some, even the desire to have love can prove to be something that seems to cause pain, dissapointment, anger, frustration and depresion. Our goal is to examine these topics, and get down to the bottom of what is actually hindering people from operating well in relationships. Some may say, "What’s the big deal," some may even say "what does that have to do with ministry?" I can understand that question. The bottom line is whether or not we as individuals are to be married or in romantic relationships or not, there is a major correlation between God's love for us and the love between two spouses. The bible says this: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Ephesians 5:25. The fact of the matter is that the love between a man and a woman was ALWAYS intended to be a picture of the intense love Christ has for His church. Although this is a passage that refers specifically to marriage, it is also a clear indication of what marriage is actually intended for. This is why God has created us as beings that want to be loved; and those of us who He has created for marriage, that is what He had in mind when He created us. That's why love is under attack. That's why there is a war between the sexes that spills into the confines of a marriage. That is why some of us, men and women have been sexually spoiled by molestation, assault and rape. That's why some of us have had our perception of love totally perverted and altered. Some of us are under the pretext that love is a farce, that love is only for the weak, that love is about getting hurt being mistreated, and being taken advantage of. Some of us have even made the decision to never ever embark on the topic of love again for our lives. Others of us have been persuaded to believe that love is to be used to serve us and our needs. Some of us use love or the human desire for love to obtain things; money, cars, dinner, sex; all the while not really experiencing the fullness of love. These two topics are interwoven. They are the reasons why some women are bitter and have hatred or a disdain for the opposite sex; and vice versa. They are the reasons why some men seem to make a profession out of mistreating women and taking advantage of a woman's natural vulnerability to feed thier sexual desires and vice versa. That's why this ministry was born; to minister healing to those of us who have been affected by these areas. I pray that you get all that God has intended for you to have, and that your expectancy for love will be rekindled. Be blessed.

Sarah E. Rios Founder