Today I was listening to a message. The preacher said "everything isn't a demon...somethings are just life." What he meant was that everything that you go through isn't predicated by things that you do or not do. Everything that happens is not necessarily a consequence of something else, sometimes it's just life.
To be very honest with you, typically I've only half-way agreed with this message. Over the course of my life, being an analytical person, I always felt that there is always a reason why certain things happen...that everything has a starting point. The problem with that philosophy is that, if you're not careful you can begin to obsess about things, and do everything in your power to avoid certain things or to prevent certain things from happening to you. I know that very intimately. Since I always felt that there was a beginning point for things and that everything was founded somewhere, it seemed to me that it was entirely up to me to make sure I always did things (not necessarily the right things) to prevent some of these things from occurring.
When it came to relationships, I was trying to do everything in my power to prevent getting hurt. I was willing to do whatever I had to do and whatever I could do to keep me from feeling rejected any more. At one point, I had decided that I was done with love and relationships all together. It's not really that I didn't want to have love, it's really that I was scared to death and was sure first of all that I'd always be rejected and secondly that the idea of me experiencing anymore rejection would definitely kill me.
Along the journey, every time I would have a conversation related to how afraid I was and how I was willing to do whatever I felt I needed to do to protect myself, I would always here people's testimonies of being in abusive relationships, or being rejected in a divorce, or being cheated on, or being used for their money or something like that. The interesting thing, is that while people were giving these testimonies I gathered as a way to encourage me that I could make it through anything with God's help like they did; guess what....I never received it that way.
All I knew was that I didn't want to go through anything even remotely close to what they had gone through...period. I didn't care what....I felt that I had been through enough heartache and pain, enough devastation, enough rejection, just enough. I was extremely unwilling to go through anything else, and really I was petrified, sure that something drastically wrong was going to happen to me if I opened myself up to love (or at least at that time letting love happen.)
When I was listening to the man of God today, he mentioned that at one point him and his mother moved from one state to another and that she was annoyed and frustrated at the prospect of moving from one place to another after she had been there for many years. He remarked that he assured her "the most important thing in this house is you." What he was trying to say was that as long as she made it out, that nothing else mattered. It didn't matter what things got lost or burned because since she had herself in tact, she could always acquire more things.
I recall when I was in college, and I had come home for a break. I visited my high school and talked with one of my old teachers. He told me of him and his wife's plan to move to South Florida. At that time, Hurricane Andrew had just come through South Florida and left total devastation. We spoke about that and he said that as long he was OK, it wouldn't matter to him what else he lost because he knew that he could always rebuild.
I always thought; "yeah that's a fine attitude for a house, or money or whatever, but not for a relationship with someone. "
As far as I was concerned that was harder to rebuild ,and quite frankly, I almost felt that if people were indeed preordained to be with specific people for a specific purpose, that they couldn't really "live" so to speak without the other person. I mean they could breath and do all the necessary things to be alive; but to me; their effect on the world, or the effect they were supposed to have on the world, was gone. I also thought that such external factors like society, and public opinion were things that would definitely effect whether or not those two people got together, or stayed together. I remember thinking to myself, I'd rather not ever get married if I'm going to got divorced...or I'd rather not even be friends with someone if I'm going to end up having feelings for them and end up being rejected. It's easy to think that's extreme, but all I needed was a small chance of that happening and it was enough to scare me to death. I remember thinking that since it was next to impossible that in this society, any man on earth would ever want to be with someone like me since society dictated to him that I was unacceptable, and since most men were shallow and deeply craved the affirmation of society that me being open to that idea would only be setting myself up to be hurt.
Consequently, every time I felt myself even starting to like someone, I got very angry with myself. I would become anxious about every little thing about it. I somehow could never really bring myself to be myself around the person and when it wouldn't work out, I would always take the blame and beat myself up for even daring to think that any man born in this world could ever accept me or that I could ever have love at all.
When I would hear people say "it's just life" or the idea that you cannot control what other people do or how things happen...it just filled my heart with more fear.
I know now that failure in relationships, sometimes isn't failure...it's just life. Truthfully speaking the idea of ending up divorced, or ending up rejected again or a being loved by someone who I do not love (which hurts too by the way) still scares me a little; but I'm learning how to trust God with that part of my life. I'm realizing that there are things that I absolutely cannot control; and I'm also learning to trust God not just to take care of everyone else (which I always have) but also to take care of me. So my prayer for you this week is that if you're like me, an analytical person who may be pondering what the point is of trusting God with this area of your life, that would you begin to understand that God is sovereign and that He will always be there to hold you and walk you through every trial, every test, and every disappointment. Resist the voice that tells you it's somehow you're fault....Even if it is your fault, what's done is done. You can't turn the clock back. It happened. That's it. Don't let whatever it is stop you from living now. I've done that. I stopped living and stopped taking in the moments because I was trying to micro manage my life so that I would never be hurt. It doesn't work. Take it from me.
Let me leave you with a question: Have you ever blamed yourself for a breakup/split? Maybe you never got to the relationship and the person just didn't want to continue to pursue a relationship with you, did you blame yourself for that? Did you live out of that? Are you living out of that? Don't anymore.
Let's get some insight.
Be blessed.
Sarah E. Rios
Founder and Creator
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Resurection of Hope
HOPE.
What an interesting word. Webster's online dictionary defines hope as "The general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled." Another definition is: someone (or something) on which expectations are centered. Hope is definitely an interesting concept. It speaks of expectation of good. It speaks of believing that "something extraordinary is possible." In the movie "A Beautiful Mind" staring Russel Crow, Jennifer Connely and Ed Harris, the character Alicia Nash says that to her husband after finding out that he had a debilitating mental disease that causes him to see things that are not there. In this true account, this man's disease stops him from living a "normal" life as he is continually plagued with having to ask himself weather or not his day to day experiences are real or imagined. Can you imagine that? Meeting people and having people become a part of your life, an integral part of your life; and experiencing things that are at the heart of who you and then having to face that those things had never been; and that those people do not exist. If you're a movie buff like me, you probably have already seen this film, if not, I won't ruin it for you. This story, like so many others is a story of how real and powerful HOPE is.
On Tuesday, November 4 2008, we in the United States of America elected a new president. A black man from Chicago with an interesting name; Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States of America. This is truly monumental. Moments before the announcement was made, as I looked at the TV screen and I saw that Obama had 207 electoral college votes and McCain had about 153; knowing that the first candidate to get to 270 votes from the electoral college would win the election, I realized how close we were to making history. In the past 300 years that the US has been in existence, we have never had a Black president. That alone, makes this a very special event. The other piece that makes it special is the horrible racial history of America. For hundreds of years, black people have had to face living in a country where at times we have not felt welcomed or wanted. Black girls have watched as the standard of beauty has been passed off as everything related to being white and nothing related to being black. As a matter of fact, not just in the US, but around the world, everything associated with being black, whether it is the way one speaks, the music one listens to, the texture of one's hair the darkness or lightness of one's skin or the size and shape of one's physical features; has been closely related to something undesirable and ugly. It is the reason why so many people from different countries who are black do not refer to themselves as black. It is the reason why black men were called "boy" even as adults, and senior adults, and are still followed around stores and have car doors locked as they walk by today.
For a country that has that kind of history and that kind of large wound that has been created through the sin of slavery and Jim Crow laws in the South, the idea of ever having a black man elected president was something many never thought we would ever see in our lifetime. Now, the image of black masculinity has shifted. The idea of being black in general, has shifted. Through this election, I believe that God has orchestrated the beginning of healing; not just for Black Americans, but for Black people all over the world and for America as a whole.
In his speech on Tuesday from Grant Park, Obama mentioned that this election was won not by him only but by everyone who supported him. He mentioned people who didn't have much money putting ten dollars here together with twenty dollars there to fund the campaign. He often talks about his start in the political arena as an activist. He spoke of long lines that lasted for hours on election day. He made it clear that it is because of other's belief and faith in him as a leader, that he was able to achieve what he has achieved. In other words, because people dared to hope not only that he was qualified for the position, but that they actually dared to hope that the same country that enslaved people because they were black, and segregated people because they were black, and whipped and beat and hung people because they were black would actually elect a president who was black.
I can't speak for anyone but I would dare to say that some of us who stood in long lines at the voting polls that day are people who believed that there was nothing impossible. People who believed the scripture in the Bible that says that "nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37) People who believed like the character in the movie previously mentioned that something extraordinary can happen. Now I don't naively assume that everyone reading this blog is an Obama supporter, but that's not really the point. Maybe you didn't vote for Barack Obama, maybe you don't even live in the US, but regardless of that, It is safe to say God wants us to realize the power of HOPE.
The Bible says in the book of Proverbs that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." Many of us can attest to that. We can attest to the sickening feeling of your hope in something dying. Hoping that the marriage or the relationships will work out and then it doesn't. Hoping that you're not disappointed again, and then you are. Hoping it'll be different this time, and then it's not. Hoping that your loved one won't die, and then they do. Hoping the results will be negative, and then they're not. That kind of discouragement can in fact make the heart sick. Having a heart sickness is a very difficult thing to get through. Unlike a physical illness, the symptoms of heart sickness are not tangible and there are no foods you can eat or medications you can take to fix it. Although a sickness in your soul can lead to sickness in your body, ultimately if there is not a healing that takes place at the heart of you, your body may be well (for a little while) but your heart will still be sick.
The thing is, if hope deferred makes the heart sick, then hope realized must make it well. As a matter of fact, Proverbs 13:12 goes on to say that "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." You know what's interesting, it doesn't say that the same longing that you or I had in the first place will be fulfilled, it only says that a longing (in other words- any longing) fulfilled is a tree of life. In my case, and in the case of many of us, our longing is for love. Our hope that has been deferred is the hope that one day, maybe love will work out for us. Some of us just want to know that love can actually happen for us, and that it isn't a fairy tale. Some of us want to know that our current relationships will evolve into marriage. Some of us just want to know that we will not be slighted or rejected again. Some of us just want to know that after all that we've been through that we can still have this glorious part of living existent in our lives. The truth is though that some of us are so used to things being the way they are, so used to not having love, so used to being in bad relationships, so used to being rejected, so used to feeling unqualified that hoping for change is hard to do.
I realized something on Tuesday. I know with what I am about to say, I may lose some people but that's OK. If you have spiritual ears to hear and spiritual eyes to see, I think it's safe to say that you see the significance of this election. Not only is this a picture that anything really is possible, and that something amazing really can happen, and not only is this the beginning of healing for Black people around the globe, particularly Americans; this is also a sign of a release that has begun in the spirit realm. It's a release into a new day. A day where the past doesn't matter. A release where nothing bad that ever happened to you can hinder you from moving into the next level in your existence. It's a day where not even your fear of the uncertainty of the future can paralyze you any longer. All of a sudden now, what people think about you seems to go by the wayside. All of a sudden now, a freshness and a newness for the visions and the dreams that God placed in your heart are being brought to life again.
In the first blog of this ministry, I wrote that it is evident to me that when God created people, he chose certain ones among them for marriage. Those that he chose for marriage, he strategical created someone for them to be married to. In other words, everything is custom created, causing a huge spiritual, physical and emotional draw to the other person. The main thing, contrary to popular belief, is not so that we can procreate, or so that we can all have someone to go home to; but it is evident to me that the main purpose is the solving of a problem; a problem so big that the one person cannot solve it alone, that it takes both of them, to partner and to add to each other to complete the work of God in solving that particular problem. I don't even feel that it's one problem per say. It may be that various problems in the natural add up to one huge problem in the spirit realm.
When I look at my Pastor Trunell Felder and my first lady, his wife Alexis Felder, it is clear to me that there is something in the earth realm that cannot be completed unless they are together. It's a problem so big, that she could not solve it herself, and he could not solve it himself. It took them to be together in order to solve it. The same is true when I look At Barack and Michelle Obama. The same is true when I look at God ordained marriages of many people. Many of us, (me included) don't relay get to see allot of God ordained unions. I think that the reason why there is so much divorce is because some of those people simply were not put together by God. The Bible says "what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:6) Some of the people that are married, God did not ordain their marriage, therefore He didn't put them together. However, when you have an opportunity to see a couple that God really put together, it is a huge treat.
I, for so long have been one of the people who didn't believe that could ever happen for me. Even though I knew that somehow two people being together was not an accident, and then even after I had the revelation that it was God's doing, I STILL didn't believe that that could happen for me. I felt in my spirit that I was promised to someone, ordained for someone and created for someone, but even at such an early age of twelve, I thought for sure that by the time I meet him, I will have experienced so much disappointment that my heart will be sick, so sick that I'll push him away and never have another chance at that kind of God ordained true love again.
Many people have been in and are in this category. Some of them are just little girls. Girls 11 and twelve like I was who no longer believe that real love is possible for them...who have gone along with the "all men are dogs" philosophy or who some how don't believe that they could ever be accepted and loved by a man. Many others have given up on love for different reasons. Some have given up on God ordained love and taken on an idea of love for their convenience. A love that serves them and them only. That manifest itself in many different ways. The thing is what those people perceive to be love isn't love at all. If it isn't ordained by God, if something doesn't leap in your spirit when you see them, if you don't have a smile on your face when you talk about them, I know some would disagree, but maybe that isn't love. Or maybe it isn't the love that God intended for you to experience.
Of course love is not always pleasant, but if you know in your spirit that this is the person that you are indefinitely connected to and created for, and that you really didn't chose them or they chose you but God chose you for them and them for you because of something monumental that H is going to do torugh you being together, how could the thought of that person not cause you to smile at least a little bit?
It could be that maybe that person isn't the will of God for you, or maybe it could be that you're blocking it. I DEFINITELY understand how that can happen. In any event, the word for the week is HOPE. My prayer is that if you are like me and sent text messages to your friends, and cried and felt the release that happened in the spirit on Tuesday because of this historic and monumental moment in the history of America, I pray that you let that be a testament to you that God has every intention of fulfilling the promise that he made to you and making good on His word. I pray that your hope is resurrected as mine was on Tuesday night. Without a doubt, you will have challenges, and it will not always look as if is going to happen. Sometimes, it may even succeed in distracting you. I know about that first hand too. But my prayer is that you declare with me once and for all, that no matter what happens...the hope that you once put in God is not only resurrected, but will NEVER die again. I hope you decide with me that even when it doesn't look like it, and even when it seems like too much for you to handle, and even when you're tempted like I was last week to be offended at the challenge that goes along with it, that you breath life into it.
I pray that with each day, your heart gets softer and softer, and your ability to trust and believe God grows bigger and bigger as mine does as well. I also pray that you don't rake yourself over the coals for not taking giant leaps forward in one day. I pray that you instead, celebrate the one or two steps you make every day. I'm learning to do that. It's challenging but it's so worth it.
Here's to HOPE that has been resurrected.
Be blessed.
Sarah E. Rios
Founder and Creator
What an interesting word. Webster's online dictionary defines hope as "The general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled." Another definition is: someone (or something) on which expectations are centered. Hope is definitely an interesting concept. It speaks of expectation of good. It speaks of believing that "something extraordinary is possible." In the movie "A Beautiful Mind" staring Russel Crow, Jennifer Connely and Ed Harris, the character Alicia Nash says that to her husband after finding out that he had a debilitating mental disease that causes him to see things that are not there. In this true account, this man's disease stops him from living a "normal" life as he is continually plagued with having to ask himself weather or not his day to day experiences are real or imagined. Can you imagine that? Meeting people and having people become a part of your life, an integral part of your life; and experiencing things that are at the heart of who you and then having to face that those things had never been; and that those people do not exist. If you're a movie buff like me, you probably have already seen this film, if not, I won't ruin it for you. This story, like so many others is a story of how real and powerful HOPE is.
On Tuesday, November 4 2008, we in the United States of America elected a new president. A black man from Chicago with an interesting name; Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States of America. This is truly monumental. Moments before the announcement was made, as I looked at the TV screen and I saw that Obama had 207 electoral college votes and McCain had about 153; knowing that the first candidate to get to 270 votes from the electoral college would win the election, I realized how close we were to making history. In the past 300 years that the US has been in existence, we have never had a Black president. That alone, makes this a very special event. The other piece that makes it special is the horrible racial history of America. For hundreds of years, black people have had to face living in a country where at times we have not felt welcomed or wanted. Black girls have watched as the standard of beauty has been passed off as everything related to being white and nothing related to being black. As a matter of fact, not just in the US, but around the world, everything associated with being black, whether it is the way one speaks, the music one listens to, the texture of one's hair the darkness or lightness of one's skin or the size and shape of one's physical features; has been closely related to something undesirable and ugly. It is the reason why so many people from different countries who are black do not refer to themselves as black. It is the reason why black men were called "boy" even as adults, and senior adults, and are still followed around stores and have car doors locked as they walk by today.
For a country that has that kind of history and that kind of large wound that has been created through the sin of slavery and Jim Crow laws in the South, the idea of ever having a black man elected president was something many never thought we would ever see in our lifetime. Now, the image of black masculinity has shifted. The idea of being black in general, has shifted. Through this election, I believe that God has orchestrated the beginning of healing; not just for Black Americans, but for Black people all over the world and for America as a whole.
In his speech on Tuesday from Grant Park, Obama mentioned that this election was won not by him only but by everyone who supported him. He mentioned people who didn't have much money putting ten dollars here together with twenty dollars there to fund the campaign. He often talks about his start in the political arena as an activist. He spoke of long lines that lasted for hours on election day. He made it clear that it is because of other's belief and faith in him as a leader, that he was able to achieve what he has achieved. In other words, because people dared to hope not only that he was qualified for the position, but that they actually dared to hope that the same country that enslaved people because they were black, and segregated people because they were black, and whipped and beat and hung people because they were black would actually elect a president who was black.
I can't speak for anyone but I would dare to say that some of us who stood in long lines at the voting polls that day are people who believed that there was nothing impossible. People who believed the scripture in the Bible that says that "nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37) People who believed like the character in the movie previously mentioned that something extraordinary can happen. Now I don't naively assume that everyone reading this blog is an Obama supporter, but that's not really the point. Maybe you didn't vote for Barack Obama, maybe you don't even live in the US, but regardless of that, It is safe to say God wants us to realize the power of HOPE.
The Bible says in the book of Proverbs that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." Many of us can attest to that. We can attest to the sickening feeling of your hope in something dying. Hoping that the marriage or the relationships will work out and then it doesn't. Hoping that you're not disappointed again, and then you are. Hoping it'll be different this time, and then it's not. Hoping that your loved one won't die, and then they do. Hoping the results will be negative, and then they're not. That kind of discouragement can in fact make the heart sick. Having a heart sickness is a very difficult thing to get through. Unlike a physical illness, the symptoms of heart sickness are not tangible and there are no foods you can eat or medications you can take to fix it. Although a sickness in your soul can lead to sickness in your body, ultimately if there is not a healing that takes place at the heart of you, your body may be well (for a little while) but your heart will still be sick.
The thing is, if hope deferred makes the heart sick, then hope realized must make it well. As a matter of fact, Proverbs 13:12 goes on to say that "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." You know what's interesting, it doesn't say that the same longing that you or I had in the first place will be fulfilled, it only says that a longing (in other words- any longing) fulfilled is a tree of life. In my case, and in the case of many of us, our longing is for love. Our hope that has been deferred is the hope that one day, maybe love will work out for us. Some of us just want to know that love can actually happen for us, and that it isn't a fairy tale. Some of us want to know that our current relationships will evolve into marriage. Some of us just want to know that we will not be slighted or rejected again. Some of us just want to know that after all that we've been through that we can still have this glorious part of living existent in our lives. The truth is though that some of us are so used to things being the way they are, so used to not having love, so used to being in bad relationships, so used to being rejected, so used to feeling unqualified that hoping for change is hard to do.
I realized something on Tuesday. I know with what I am about to say, I may lose some people but that's OK. If you have spiritual ears to hear and spiritual eyes to see, I think it's safe to say that you see the significance of this election. Not only is this a picture that anything really is possible, and that something amazing really can happen, and not only is this the beginning of healing for Black people around the globe, particularly Americans; this is also a sign of a release that has begun in the spirit realm. It's a release into a new day. A day where the past doesn't matter. A release where nothing bad that ever happened to you can hinder you from moving into the next level in your existence. It's a day where not even your fear of the uncertainty of the future can paralyze you any longer. All of a sudden now, what people think about you seems to go by the wayside. All of a sudden now, a freshness and a newness for the visions and the dreams that God placed in your heart are being brought to life again.
In the first blog of this ministry, I wrote that it is evident to me that when God created people, he chose certain ones among them for marriage. Those that he chose for marriage, he strategical created someone for them to be married to. In other words, everything is custom created, causing a huge spiritual, physical and emotional draw to the other person. The main thing, contrary to popular belief, is not so that we can procreate, or so that we can all have someone to go home to; but it is evident to me that the main purpose is the solving of a problem; a problem so big that the one person cannot solve it alone, that it takes both of them, to partner and to add to each other to complete the work of God in solving that particular problem. I don't even feel that it's one problem per say. It may be that various problems in the natural add up to one huge problem in the spirit realm.
When I look at my Pastor Trunell Felder and my first lady, his wife Alexis Felder, it is clear to me that there is something in the earth realm that cannot be completed unless they are together. It's a problem so big, that she could not solve it herself, and he could not solve it himself. It took them to be together in order to solve it. The same is true when I look At Barack and Michelle Obama. The same is true when I look at God ordained marriages of many people. Many of us, (me included) don't relay get to see allot of God ordained unions. I think that the reason why there is so much divorce is because some of those people simply were not put together by God. The Bible says "what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:6) Some of the people that are married, God did not ordain their marriage, therefore He didn't put them together. However, when you have an opportunity to see a couple that God really put together, it is a huge treat.
I, for so long have been one of the people who didn't believe that could ever happen for me. Even though I knew that somehow two people being together was not an accident, and then even after I had the revelation that it was God's doing, I STILL didn't believe that that could happen for me. I felt in my spirit that I was promised to someone, ordained for someone and created for someone, but even at such an early age of twelve, I thought for sure that by the time I meet him, I will have experienced so much disappointment that my heart will be sick, so sick that I'll push him away and never have another chance at that kind of God ordained true love again.
Many people have been in and are in this category. Some of them are just little girls. Girls 11 and twelve like I was who no longer believe that real love is possible for them...who have gone along with the "all men are dogs" philosophy or who some how don't believe that they could ever be accepted and loved by a man. Many others have given up on love for different reasons. Some have given up on God ordained love and taken on an idea of love for their convenience. A love that serves them and them only. That manifest itself in many different ways. The thing is what those people perceive to be love isn't love at all. If it isn't ordained by God, if something doesn't leap in your spirit when you see them, if you don't have a smile on your face when you talk about them, I know some would disagree, but maybe that isn't love. Or maybe it isn't the love that God intended for you to experience.
Of course love is not always pleasant, but if you know in your spirit that this is the person that you are indefinitely connected to and created for, and that you really didn't chose them or they chose you but God chose you for them and them for you because of something monumental that H is going to do torugh you being together, how could the thought of that person not cause you to smile at least a little bit?
It could be that maybe that person isn't the will of God for you, or maybe it could be that you're blocking it. I DEFINITELY understand how that can happen. In any event, the word for the week is HOPE. My prayer is that if you are like me and sent text messages to your friends, and cried and felt the release that happened in the spirit on Tuesday because of this historic and monumental moment in the history of America, I pray that you let that be a testament to you that God has every intention of fulfilling the promise that he made to you and making good on His word. I pray that your hope is resurrected as mine was on Tuesday night. Without a doubt, you will have challenges, and it will not always look as if is going to happen. Sometimes, it may even succeed in distracting you. I know about that first hand too. But my prayer is that you declare with me once and for all, that no matter what happens...the hope that you once put in God is not only resurrected, but will NEVER die again. I hope you decide with me that even when it doesn't look like it, and even when it seems like too much for you to handle, and even when you're tempted like I was last week to be offended at the challenge that goes along with it, that you breath life into it.
I pray that with each day, your heart gets softer and softer, and your ability to trust and believe God grows bigger and bigger as mine does as well. I also pray that you don't rake yourself over the coals for not taking giant leaps forward in one day. I pray that you instead, celebrate the one or two steps you make every day. I'm learning to do that. It's challenging but it's so worth it.
Here's to HOPE that has been resurrected.
Be blessed.
Sarah E. Rios
Founder and Creator
Monday, November 3, 2008
Don't know if I want it anymore
Have you ever gotten to the point where you sensed something coming for so long and it didn't; where you heard God say He was going to do it so many times, and it hasn't happened yet; and where so much has happened that the closer and closer it gets to coming to pass.....you start to push it away?
Like you just don't even wanna believe God anymore, because after all you've gotten comfortable not having or not living out what He said you were supposed to....
and you've accepted it?
Where, quite frankly the thought of you even having it seems ridiculous now?
It's like getting a taste for ice cream. Chocolate. then you try to go to the ice cream shop. Your car won't start. When it finally does start, you get stuck in traffic. You're still calm but you feel the desire for ice cream begin to slip away. Finally you get to the ice cream place. Guess what? No chocolate. You wanted chocolate so bad and you had your mind set on chocolate so much, that if you can't have chocolate, you don't even want the ice cream anymore.
So what do you do when it's something that God put in you?
Your ministry?
Your love?
Your life?
What do you do when you've gotten so used to the idea of not having it, that you're not even sure that you want it anymore; but you know it's what God wants you to have or to do?
What do you do then?
I wish I had more optimism for you this week but, I can't say I do.
All I can say is pray for me. (only if you want to and only if you really mean it, if not....please don't)
God is positioning me to get my proverbial "ice cream."
And, even though I know it's of God, I don't know if I want it anymore.
I mean all the ice cream.
the main ministry that God created me for,
the person that God created me for (please don't assume you know who I'm speaking of because you don't...sorry I've been burned before for even mentioning that so I had to put a disclaimer out there.)
Even the place God's called me to....
and I gotta tell you.
I've been so used to things being the way they've been for the past 30 years of my life;
I just don't know if I even want it anymore.
Anyways,
Be blessed.
Your in Christ.
Sarah E. Rios
Founder and Creator
lovehealsallwounds1@gmail.com
Like you just don't even wanna believe God anymore, because after all you've gotten comfortable not having or not living out what He said you were supposed to....
and you've accepted it?
Where, quite frankly the thought of you even having it seems ridiculous now?
It's like getting a taste for ice cream. Chocolate. then you try to go to the ice cream shop. Your car won't start. When it finally does start, you get stuck in traffic. You're still calm but you feel the desire for ice cream begin to slip away. Finally you get to the ice cream place. Guess what? No chocolate. You wanted chocolate so bad and you had your mind set on chocolate so much, that if you can't have chocolate, you don't even want the ice cream anymore.
So what do you do when it's something that God put in you?
Your ministry?
Your love?
Your life?
What do you do when you've gotten so used to the idea of not having it, that you're not even sure that you want it anymore; but you know it's what God wants you to have or to do?
What do you do then?
I wish I had more optimism for you this week but, I can't say I do.
All I can say is pray for me. (only if you want to and only if you really mean it, if not....please don't)
God is positioning me to get my proverbial "ice cream."
And, even though I know it's of God, I don't know if I want it anymore.
I mean all the ice cream.
the main ministry that God created me for,
the person that God created me for (please don't assume you know who I'm speaking of because you don't...sorry I've been burned before for even mentioning that so I had to put a disclaimer out there.)
Even the place God's called me to....
and I gotta tell you.
I've been so used to things being the way they've been for the past 30 years of my life;
I just don't know if I even want it anymore.
Anyways,
Be blessed.
Your in Christ.
Sarah E. Rios
Founder and Creator
lovehealsallwounds1@gmail.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
