Spiritual Pregnancy...........P.....U.....S......H

I'm trying to figure out a way to express this;
I'm pregnant....expecting....with child....
not with a physical child, as wonderful as that could be.....
it's not a natural pregnancy...it's a spiritual pregnancy......
I knew I was pregnant before....or shall we say proverbially "9 months ago"....
if months are ages......
(a thousand years is as a day, a day is as a thousand years).....
I knew it then......
but it seemed so far off......
I mean somehow I knew the baby was there but I wasn't sure it was actually going to live....
I didn't feel it kicking......

then it started kicking me...
that was painful....
gossip and lies were my contractions...
along with painful memories in the night and failures I wish I could take back.....
promises that God made to me were getting lost in the barrage of times of feeling like I had miscarried......
in the times that my mouth exploded the poison that was in my heart.......only to infect someone else and hurt them....badly.....eventhough I didn't mean to....

Someone tried to kill my baby time and time again.......
before I knew I was carrying, the devil tried to kill me....
and then after I knew, he struck again...and again...and again....
He used sexual abuse....and verbal abuse....and low self esteem and low self worth...
and constant rejection, and painful pain...........over and over and over....

as a matter of fact before I was even here, he launched his attack on my parents with physical and emotional abuse....
with demonic attacks like no other......
he had waged an all out war on me....before I was even here.......

He attacked my parents with low self esteem and rage and bitterness from the harshness of life.....

and he started attacking me as a little girl...because he knew what I was carrying....
or maybe he didn't know...that would be to assume that he's all knowing; which he's not....
but since he's spiritual at his nature and deals only in that realm and not in the natural....
maybe he always knew....
and he could always sense it....
so he attacked........
and attacked.....
and attacked....
and attacked....

he tried to talk me into aborting my baby....
over and over and over and over and over and over again.....

But Daddy was always there......
he gave me mothers and fathers in the faith....
sisters and brothers in the faith.......
the ones that I couldn't push away no matter how hard I tried....
and even the ones I did....
the ones who's voices echoed in my ear.....over and over....
who prayed....and prayed and prayed and prayed....

they acted as midwives and they still do...
telling me to eat right......and feast on the word of God....
to drink enough water......the water of the the word of God....
to get some SON light.......that it's good for the baby.........

and I know they're still there now........waiting to tell me to push.....
push.....
push.....
push......

bear down......
it's coming....
bear down....
I can see the head.....
push.........

and I know that my baby is coming..........
she's almost here now............
I can feel her........

and my eyes fill with tears........
tears of joy and expectancy that I'll finally get a look at her.......
I'll know what she looks like.....
what she feels like.......

my DESTINY.........
she's almost here...........
now....
it's time......
to
PUSH.

What are you pregnant with? Let me encourage you....no matter what happens....don't abort....
P.......U........S.........H........

Sarah E. Rios
Love Heals All Wounds
Founder and Creator
http://www.lovehealsallwounds1.blogspot.com/
www.myspace.com./lovehealsallwounds
http://www.lovehealsallwounds.hi5.com/